Excerpted from the Canton Intelligencer:

A Pro Football HoF voter, who wished to remain anonymous, cited Woodson’s NES Tecmo Super Bowl performances against the old AFC Central as a determining factor in his mind.

Said the voter:

“I mean, sure, he would eat up Houston and Cincinnati, but, geez, that guy just gutted the Browns.  You’d think you’d have the deep ball and then out of no where there’d be Woodson for the INT.  I, mean, he’d be at the line of scrimmage for Christ’s sake.  I’ve never seen such closing speed.”

“And don’t even think about throwing a slant to his side if the Steelers guessed your play.  That’d be a sure pick.”

Read more news satire at News Grift.

In an unrelated matter, Houston guard Aubrey Coleman received nine gift baskets from mysterious donors. The adjoined notes from Pullman, Corvallis and Tempe all had spelling errors.

Via: With Leather &  The Dagger

The Oregon Ducks (6-12, Pac-10 0-6 [yup, 0-6]) take a six-game losing streak into tonight’s matchup at Stanford. Relatedly, somewhere on Endor a group of Ewoks are using stone age tools and sharpened sticks to attack an Imperial Walker. Las Vegas is throwing smart money at the small, furry, bears-like creatures (-11).

The Ducks find themselves at the bottom of the Pac-10 standings looking up at Oregon State, a team that set a record last season by losing all 18 of its Pac-10 games. A feat the Ducks don’t want to match.  Michelle Obama’s other brother is not walking through that door.

What’s the problem? Leadership. The Ewoks have it and the Ducks don’t.

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Well, our little site is up and running and I personally can’t think of a better way to kick it off than a video or nine of John McEnroe losing his sh*t. And, for the ladies, there’s a little bit of Ivan Lendl in his “John Stockton shorts wearing” prime. Enjoy.

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